This time around, my five part paragraph was improved in many different ways. For example, my rambling on I tend to do that I pointed out in the five part paragraph critique blog is gone and I got rid of most of the unnecessary things I tend to say and made my paragraph not only more understandable, but much better too. My punctuation greatly improved too this time. I eliminated a lot of the red lines underneath words so the finished product was more legible. My quote embedding felt better for me too. I almost forgot to embed the quotes tonight but this blog reminded me and saved me from getting a bad grade.
I think my paragraph is a lot better than its predecessor and I know people will enjoy it more than my first because it has been improved to the brink of perfection.(JK)
Sean
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